Either our nation ’s corpulency problem is just as bad as they say , or Costco sleep together something we do n’t , because the aircraft carrier wave - scaled big box store is now offering enough ( horrifying ) solid food to last you a yr for a coolheaded $ 800 .
The monstrous , 5,011 serving packet , courtesy of food outfitter Shelf Reliance ( hey , at least we ’ll have kept our senses of temper during doomsday ! ) claim their end twenty-four hour period buffet contains “ only top - of - the - line product , ” “ develop with everyday carte planning in creative thinker . ” Which make water gumption , of course , because the only matter worse than knowing that the intact eastern seaboard has been leveled by nuclear warhead or a horde of pulp - feast place behemoth is repetitive bunker fare — dehydrated Pisces pelt AGAIN , mama ?
peradventure more disconcerting than the notion of a yr underground eating food from Costco is the fact that the package is n’t just commercialise for emergencies , but for “ foresightful - term food reposition supply . ” Meaning that someone , somewhere , think it ’s a rational idea to grease one’s palms an $ 800 shipment crate admit hold 84 Imperial gallon - sized cans , to just , y’know , save yourself a trip to the grocery store . Now , I am totally down with Costco ’s cheese platters , and pasta multi - pack , but . My God .
So what else is included in this nightmarish sampler ?
Twelve cans of “ Hard White Winter Wheat ( 44 serving per can ) ” , one can of
Freeze - dry Mushroom Pieces ( 48 service per can ) ” , and dozens of can buoy of “ TVP”—textured vegetable protein , which Shelf Reliance enunciate “ is reproducible with real heart . ” Not included in the deal is a can of freeze dried cyanide for when you uprise weary of commix TVP Viscount St. Albans with elbow macaroni every week .
I ’m now reflecting on a year spend holed up in an desert mine , sleeping with a pistol under my pillow so the zombies do n’t get me , or a class spent staring at “ 2 Cans of Taco TVP ( 42 servings per can ) , ” and having a hard time decide which is more apocalyptic . [ CostcoviaBoing Boing ]
CostcoFood
Daily Newsletter
Get the best tech , scientific discipline , and culture news in your inbox daily .
word from the time to come , delivered to your present .
You May Also Like
